CLXXIX.
May 15, 2013 § Leave a Comment
measured how?
height, inches. daylight, orbits
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death of a rabbit
tick tock, I am afterward
-
Coming Soon!
moments,
you, me, them
-
named how?
unnamed, unmeasured
I
a drop, a grain
atom of the universe
I,
universe of atoms
CXLIII.
November 18, 2012 § Leave a Comment
During the flight, Simon & Schuster’s World of Physics brought consolation; Weaver and Feynman affirmed my own life-mulling in the way that Fichte and Kant had this year previous–thank the Germans! Today, Blaise Pascal–thank the French! But these are only names, only heritages. Their words transcend them in the way that my own notes scribbled on airport receipts belong no more to me than anything else (do I “produce” these notes or, rather, discover them? And what is it I discover? That which lies dormant, breathing and waiting in nature.)
On the receipt acting as a page placeholder,
unlike the Greeks, I must form a concept of the nature of physical laws in the way that I have sought a relationship between the forces and structures of nature
no structure can exist without forces
the laws of nature which apply to a human apply to any celestial bodies as well
observation, reason, experiment
methods of understanding: control/isolate, deduction, approximation
CXXXI.
October 31, 2012 § Leave a Comment
It nags, pulls here; it is not the impulse to write but
you sleep; I write
is this not true? Or am I deceived?
Skin of my bones, my muscle, my egg-carton of organs (cook, crack, split them; they expire, they spoil; all it takes is time)
all it takes is time and these nights fade
you sleep; I write
there was a life here, was there not? Out here floating off is a boy
a balloon missing its weighted-piece –
not “decorum” because my inflated form does not belong up here
not “decorum” because the wind whipped it about, scuffed the plastic, wore-down the edges
faded; all fades as these nights are closing
in, around — I am deceived
you sleep
I write
CXXIV.
October 13, 2012 § Leave a Comment
I am typing from an unreachable space. Here, you are sealed off from the immediacy of the emotions coursing through my nerves, exacted by (oh, as I have referred to them as before) these interpreters made of bone and flesh and all that is invisible to me unless I were to peel these layers back until an emptiness revealed itself, until the void creeping into my thoughts as of late is revealed–
you should feel alienated by my words now. Good. It is best this way. The relationship we are forming is too knowable…You read; I live, I write; you read…How are you living? Well? Not-so-well?
If you are not familiar with this manner-speak, please, humble me by allowing yourself entry and entreat your mind to wander; do me this courtesy and I shall offer a heavily contemplated experience. I offer you honesty.
Here, you are sealed off from knowing me. You know the words. That is all I have anymore, really (do not mistaken this for pitiful remarks of Self.) It is true. The words say what my laughter and my new pair of shoes and my haircut and the artifacts on my shelves cannot.
CXII.
May 7, 2012 § Leave a Comment
What more can be said? I conquered how to illustrate what I see proves and disproves All. I am satisfied, bereft of words; nothing more can further satiate this thirst, this longing, this torture; no words can reach that which my absence of words accomplished
- -
until I know How Else,
farewell
CIX.
April 22, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Earth Day
bleached-white tiny fossils of a duck
four months —five months? since we met last
organs, excavated
feathers sparse, marks of time
unthreading sinew,
pale orange webbed motors
little nothing
of Oneness
no eyes no heart no lungs
maggots! make way for Now & Laters, Ritz, Twix, Tootsie rolls, Kettle, Hostess, Frito-Lay, Keebler, Chex, Cola, Cola, Cola, Cola, Cola, Hershey, Doritos, Kotex, Airheads, Little Debbie, Wonka, Oscar-Meyer, Oberto, Quaker, Honey Maid
(all natural) (organic) (USDA approved) (100% wheat) (recyclable) (renewable) (sustainable)
dropped here, forgotten, by human hands
hands: for invention, for demolition
plastic! seep to Our Iron Core
our Engine
revs; it sputters, kicks
converge, diverge; we rebuild
fiercer, much too sustainable we are
CV.
April 1, 2012 § Leave a Comment
On my desk sits a rectangular stone; black, engraved lettering reads:
The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.
The person who gifted this must know me better than the very blood running through these veins, the blood fueling fingertips to type, to interpret, to clasp;
the blood must not carry much meaning beyond the alleles, beyond these chains of lineage so mutated and grown to form the next Him, Her, Him, Her
Thems, Mes
Us, I
(no, the true blood runs through the veins of the earth; it gives root to true birth, as we are each only fractional interpretations of the larger whole which our stars project:
the stars die. they form this. this forms them. them forms they. they form us.
Us, I. Us, I.
LXX.
November 8, 2011 § Leave a Comment
just that awful, violent roar of a machine, the one I am steering over a carpet sewn by hands sewn with sperm and egg, a union which laid down these bricks which stack all around me, squeezed between a space, the same properties that bend this vacuum toward my will, myself, bent in this sucking, awful roar of the vacuum, the killer suns, and all that I will never steer — it drives me, relentless in its own way, never my own, never me.
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Always me, always everyone; in its own way it makes itself in the only way it ever could, as no way other than the way it formed could have occurred; it is perfect in its disorderly manner, in fact, by means of its perfection it is not disorderly but, rather, it is in order — all is in order; that is “us” (you, me) and all outside of “us” is also “us”; it is never within something in the same way that everything is inside of it; all is outside of it (think of it as being within and out of itself) and my feelings to its pull, its bending, are subjective and weighty with misunderstandings — I was mistaken in my seeing of the energy, just that awful, violent roar of a machine…